Grrl Bloggers, Retail Therapy, & Thoughts on Relationship!

I suspect that most of my readers know that the fastest way for me to bounce back from adversity (or even a minor disappointment) consists of two easy peasy practices: knitting and retail therapy. Well. When you add in a group of the best Grrl Bloggers SW VA has to offer meeting up at Barnes & Noble for dinner, coffee, book browsing, and knitting? What more can you ask for? That's right - it's a terrific mood lifter!

Hiding her face in laughter is Nikki one of the most emotionally generous young ladies I've had the honor to befriend in quite some time...then in the middle is my partner in KnittersAtWork on yahoo, none other than Diana, she of the dryest of wit, the list mom who cannot let too much time go by before we have a roll call - "it's too quiet in here, what are you working on??!?" Finally there's our resident earth momma Cate, who sort of sweeps all of us up and welcomes us into her life and her home as if we'd been expected all along.
I'm behind the camera (actually I was beside it, but I'm not very good at taking shots without seeing WHAT it is I'm pointing at. Every shot I took lost someone - I figured it was best to show everyone else but me....
It was dinner and decaf (for me) and knitting and conversation, laughter, downright hysterics as we people-watched...I was desperately in need of some silly-time!
And while at Barnes & Noble, I dropped the first stitch on Clapotis (yes, it's there, see?) and then because I'd promised myself I would, I discovered a 2-disc set of Renata Tebaldi (she of the Voice of the Angels as well as namesake of Shaeffer Anne and Andrea colorways...). Listening to her arias from Puccini, Verdi, Mascagni...all is beginning to seem right with the world.

I'll admit to this: the most recent man in question did not ruffle my feathers so much in and of himself. No, the process of discovering that once again, knowledge of my health issues was conveyed and once again, the prospect of a relationship (granted one in it's infancy, if it was even that!) was terminated? Well, it sets my teeth on edge beyond what I know to do anything about. But here are some of the thoughts I can convey...

Women AND men have cancer, have heart disease, have any innumerable physical crises occur. We receive treatments, we are declared in remission, the blockage by-passed - note I did not say cured, please.

From the moment that happens, we have our lives back. But. Not. Quite. It does not matter who you are, or what you have been in your life.

Stereotypes and prejudices abound. There are such social concerns as health insurance coverage, disability and retirement planning, keeping a job where there once had been no question about that. IS the person well enough to return to work, can they have a healthy relationship of any sort? Will others treat them differently because, perhaps, they're seen as damaged goods? Will a special someone decide not to risk the relationship because they fear the loss of someone they care for?

I've run the gamut today. And I'm tired.

But I'm here to tell you. I had a (thankfully, minor) heart attack and by-pass surgery. I am fortunate. I have a scar that bisects my chest - and if I showed it to you, I would not look so glamourous as this lovely lady. In fact, I've seven years since my surgery, and my scar has faded considerably. Nonetheless, if I were one to try to accent it, I'd find a way in which to use a vining hearts tattoo art to point out the lifeline that my scar represents to me. My scar is gorgeous. It's a badge I wear proudly.

Why?
Because without it I would be dead.

Instead, I'm here. I can laugh, and love, knit and drink coffee, I can sew my bags, and love my grandsons, family, and cats...This scar is a sensuous LIFEline declaring that my heart is healed and capable of so much more...and maybe someday, there will be a man who will find it incredibly sexy that a not quite straight white line holds his love together for him. And he'll be strong enough to accept the love I have to offer for as long as it's here.

He'll be one lucky guy, I know that!
(((hugs)))