knitnana: Grrl Bloggers, Retail Therapy, & Thoughts on Relationship!

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Thursday, July 26, 2007

Grrl Bloggers, Retail Therapy, & Thoughts on Relationship!

I suspect that most of my readers know that the fastest way for me to bounce back from adversity (or even a minor disappointment) consists of two easy peasy practices: knitting and retail therapy. Well. When you add in a group of the best Grrl Bloggers SW VA has to offer meeting up at Barnes & Noble for dinner, coffee, book browsing, and knitting? What more can you ask for? That's right - it's a terrific mood lifter!

Hiding her face in laughter is Nikki one of the most emotionally generous young ladies I've had the honor to befriend in quite some time...then in the middle is my partner in KnittersAtWork on yahoo, none other than Diana, she of the dryest of wit, the list mom who cannot let too much time go by before we have a roll call - "it's too quiet in here, what are you working on??!?" Finally there's our resident earth momma Cate, who sort of sweeps all of us up and welcomes us into her life and her home as if we'd been expected all along.
I'm behind the camera (actually I was beside it, but I'm not very good at taking shots without seeing WHAT it is I'm pointing at. Every shot I took lost someone - I figured it was best to show everyone else but me....
It was dinner and decaf (for me) and knitting and conversation, laughter, downright hysterics as we people-watched...I was desperately in need of some silly-time!
And while at Barnes & Noble, I dropped the first stitch on Clapotis (yes, it's there, see?) and then because I'd promised myself I would, I discovered a 2-disc set of Renata Tebaldi (she of the Voice of the Angels as well as namesake of Shaeffer Anne and Andrea colorways...). Listening to her arias from Puccini, Verdi, Mascagni...all is beginning to seem right with the world.

I'll admit to this: the most recent man in question did not ruffle my feathers so much in and of himself. No, the process of discovering that once again, knowledge of my health issues was conveyed and once again, the prospect of a relationship (granted one in it's infancy, if it was even that!) was terminated? Well, it sets my teeth on edge beyond what I know to do anything about. But here are some of the thoughts I can convey...

Women AND men have cancer, have heart disease, have any innumerable physical crises occur. We receive treatments, we are declared in remission, the blockage by-passed - note I did not say cured, please.

From the moment that happens, we have our lives back. But. Not. Quite. It does not matter who you are, or what you have been in your life.

Stereotypes and prejudices abound. There are such social concerns as health insurance coverage, disability and retirement planning, keeping a job where there once had been no question about that. IS the person well enough to return to work, can they have a healthy relationship of any sort? Will others treat them differently because, perhaps, they're seen as damaged goods? Will a special someone decide not to risk the relationship because they fear the loss of someone they care for?

I've run the gamut today. And I'm tired.

But I'm here to tell you. I had a (thankfully, minor) heart attack and by-pass surgery. I am fortunate. I have a scar that bisects my chest - and if I showed it to you, I would not look so glamourous as this lovely lady. In fact, I've seven years since my surgery, and my scar has faded considerably. Nonetheless, if I were one to try to accent it, I'd find a way in which to use a vining hearts tattoo art to point out the lifeline that my scar represents to me. My scar is gorgeous. It's a badge I wear proudly.

Why?
Because without it I would be dead.

Instead, I'm here. I can laugh, and love, knit and drink coffee, I can sew my bags, and love my grandsons, family, and cats...This scar is a sensuous LIFEline declaring that my heart is healed and capable of so much more...and maybe someday, there will be a man who will find it incredibly sexy that a not quite straight white line holds his love together for him. And he'll be strong enough to accept the love I have to offer for as long as it's here.

He'll be one lucky guy, I know that!
(((hugs)))

16 Comments:

Blogger Jenni said...

Oh...I really need to get in a knitting circle. I am jealous seeing everyone knitting with others. I am a lone knitter.

I have scar too...a bikini line one. And without it I would be dead also. I don't mind it.

10:37 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Geez, I look like granny sitting there!! Dry wit? Don't think I've had that description before but I can see it sometimes I guess.
You're right, nothing like a small gathering of like minded friends! It gives me a cheerful boost too! I'll ditto that surgery of yours cuz I'm sure glad you're around!!!!

10:58 PM  
Blogger Debi said...

Sallee, who doesn't have scars? We all do, inside and out. And you know what? The only thing certain in this life is death and taxes...your Prince Not So Charming could marry someone in "perfect" health who could drop dead seconds after the wedding. It's happened before!

Kick Mr. Wrong to the curb, Mr. Right is still out there :)

7:15 AM  
Blogger Jenny Raye said...

I know he will too!

9:09 AM  
Blogger Pam! said...

Profound post girlfriend! I know it caused me to think quite a bit. You amaze me with your positive outlook and experience.
Sorry I missed last night. I was hoping to make it since I'll miss the meeting next week. (I'll be visiting with my man-on-the-side, John Mayer.) Alas, there was much to do and the phone rang quit a bit.

9:23 AM  
Blogger kat said...

looks like you got just the therapy you needed! i tell you the girls at my knitting group can always get me out of a mood & into a good place too.

9:56 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

That's the spirit! I've basically decided that it's better for my mental health to not bother with dating. That's been an excellent choice for me.

10:07 AM  
Blogger Carole Knits said...

What an incredible way of looking at your scar. I am so impressed with your optimism and outlook.

11:17 AM  
Blogger La Cabeza Grande said...

I met a doctor last week who recently moved from Mississippi. I told him how I came to be there to see him that day and all he said was, "Bless your heart."

So from me to you, Sallee, "Bless your heart, love!"

5:53 PM  
Blogger cate said...

It was fun last night, wasn't it? I have a scar in my bikini line as well, otherwise, I'd be dead and so would dd#1. I am so glad to live in this modern age of good medicine! c

7:50 PM  
Blogger Brenda said...

Scars and illness are a fact of life. You'll find someone who understands that. I didn't find my husband until I wasn't looking. I'm glad you have such good friends to knit and hang with!

9:09 PM  
Blogger Becky said...

Thank goodness for friends who can help us remember the good when we need it.

Thanks for an encouraging post.

5:01 AM  
Blogger Jane said...

I like the tattoo idea - emphasize that scar that gave you life! Then it ceases to be a "scar" and becomes a testimony to your strength & courage. It will indeed be a lucky man who wins your love as you have so much to give. {{{{HUGS}}}}

10:32 AM  
Blogger Shelob said...

Yes.

Okay, so not the most elequent comment I've ever posted, but, then again, [grin] you said it all!

Yes.

1:20 PM  
Blogger KnitYoga said...

One day you'll meet the man who'll be just right for you if it's meant to be and probably when you're not expecting it. Until then, enjoy all the good things life has to offer and there are tons of them. Men - they don't necessarily come top of the list - at least not to me!

5:47 PM  
Blogger Ruinwen said...

You are such a wise soul...I'm glad you got some girl time. :)

1:51 PM  

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