knitnana: Challenges, Struggles, Losses

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Thursday, May 19, 2005

Challenges, Struggles, Losses

Life in cyberspace is more challenging than I'd expected. When someone you think of as a "friend" disappears without much or any explanation, it's painful. You don't have any way to find out what's wrong. You can't offer help. It's a limbo-state. It's happened a time or two recently. Since I live daily with physical challenges and mental stress in what I know of as my "real-world" existence, my cyberpals mean a lot to me. I grieve when they're gone.

So today, along with the stresses of being the "mother of the bride," I'm also dealing with the loss of friendships and just when I feel like I need them most. The saddest part is wanting to be there to help those friends and not knowing how.

It was in that light that I participated in a long phone conversation with an RN from my health plan's heart patient support program, and probably talked her ear off. Then knitted two repeats of my baby afghan.

Finally, agitated, I picked up the triangle lace shawl. I think that was what was most comforting, odd as that sounds. It's such a challenge to concentrate on the chart, the slippery, soft yarn and now, working around the lifeline. And the cyberworld fell away. Till I started this post.

Maybe my missing cyberpals will read this. Maybe I'll hear from them. If not, I wish them peace, health, love. I hope they know how much they enriched my life. I send them warm hugs.

8 Comments:

Blogger me myself and i said...

Awwwwww....((((((Sallee))))) I know how you feel! I dont have many "real" friends so my cyber friends mean so much to me!!! I have been so busy with the kids lately I also havent had much time to check in with people but they are always near my thoguhts and heart!! Hugs to you dear friend!!!

11:34 PM  
Anonymous Shanti said...

I'm so sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time, especially after you brought such cheer into my life last week. I'm using your stitch markers on my mom's shawl right now!

8:16 AM  
Blogger Birdsong said...

Sallee, we are often on the same wave length; I just wrote an email back to you about some of the same stuff! I do hope that the stress will reduce when the wedding is behind you. It is amazing how having to concentrate really hard on something, like our shawl pattern, can make the troubles dissipate temporarily.

11:57 AM  
Blogger Shelob said...

{{{{{hugs}}}}}} I'm here! e-mail soon. Happy Wedding and know that I'm thinking of you.


Take care hon!

--Christy (Shelob)

1:26 PM  
Blogger KniTaPaLooZa said...

I completely feel your pain. I am right with you suffering 2 major chronic illnesses and major back trouble but I live for my net pals... I also recently lost several of my long time cyber pals. It was like they dropped of the face of the earth. I can only give you a big cyber hug and tell you you have made a new cyber knitting pal in me. There is a saying "Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay awhile and leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever, the same. " by Flavia Weedn Big CYBER HUG for you ~ Janet

2:03 PM  
Blogger Melanie said...

Amazing how lifecan get in the way of friendships... hope they find their way back to you soon!
Hugs & hugs!

1:18 PM  
Anonymous Gina said...

I can totally relate to what you are feeling! I too have lost cyber pals.. and now about to lose another.
So I am here for you if you ever need a friend!

3:02 PM  
Blogger IndigoMuse said...

I'm sorry that you're missing some of your cyberpals. I'm missing my real and cyberspace buds as of late. Hang in there. Once school is out, I'll be more available so maybe we can schedule some "real" knitting sessions together.

Tanya

11:27 AM  

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